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Some women are blessed — they were born with that maternal instinct. They dreamt of their wedding, the perfect house, the white picket fence, the two children, a boy and a girl, and already had their children’s names picked out by the time they were 10 years old.
I was not in line when God gave that trait out. Though I was in line when God was giving out talent and common sense, I took a bathroom break and missed out on common sense. I just consider my uncanny bad timing and ignorance for anything geographical or historical a cute and lovable trait.
So, I met my husband in 2003 and we did the dating thing, which turned into the moving to North Carolina together thing, which turned into getting married. My husband had desired desperately to be a father, and I wanted to give him that. We tried for almost two years before we consulted a fertility specialist. I couldn’t help but think God didn’t want me to be a mother.
I had my first intrauterine insemination in early 2007, and it was a nightmare of complications after complications and the procedure did not work. I was devastated.
We waited the two months and tried again and I knew immediately I was pregnant. My husband was beside himself, he was crying and beaming all at once. I, however, did not share his enthusiasm. It was now real, and I wasn’t sure we did the right thing.
A few months of migraines and chronic nausea went by and the most amazing thing happened. I felt like I had a butterfly in my belly, just fluttering around, and we got to see and hear the baby’s heartbeat. I was dumbfounded at what my body could do. I was making a person.
A few months went by and we had so much fun buying baby toys, taking pregnancy pictures, telling our friends and families the great news.
At each ultrasound we saw the little fingers wiggling and the baby sucking her thumb — that’s right, it was a girl. I named our baby Keelyn.
Keelyn decided in utero that she was going to be a soccer player and she was preparing early on those field goal kicks.
Time went on and I could feel her moving around, trying to get comfortable. She got the hiccups a lot, which was so funny to feel, and you could actually see my tummy jumping when she had them.
I was told Keelyn could hear my voice and respond to it, that our daughter fell in love with me before even meeting me. I read her stories and so did her dad. We played music for her and I could swear she would dance the best she could in such small quarters.
My daughter and I had formed a bond before she was born. She loved ME! Keelyn trusted ME! It was amazing.
I couldn’t help but to think of all those women out there who didn’t get as lucky as me, who were waiting on adoption and helping with foster care just to get a taste of what being a mom must feel like.
The time came for us to meet Keelyn and there was a complication. The umbilical cord had wrapped around her neck and her heart rate started to drop. Thank God the doctor was right there, Keelyn had to have oxygen and extra stimulation to breathe on her own but by the grace of God, she was fine.
I was the last one to meet my daughter, but when the nurse handed her to me, I was so in love with her. She was and still is the most beautiful girl in the world.
She gazed up at me and there was recognition in her eyes — love, trust and comfort. Those little fingers, little toes and chubby cheeks.
My husband held her in his arms and started to cry as he told her he had waited his whole life to meet her, and he wished her a happy birthday. There was not a dry eye in that room.
The reason behind sharing my experiences with pregnancy and the miracle of becoming a mommy is this.
It is now legal in two states to execute your baby the day before your due date. You can now commit murder legally, and deliver a dead baby who loved you, trusted you, who had a chance at life. So many people would give everything they have to be a parent and now we can kill infants.
What’s next — killing disabled people, euthanizing our elderly? Isn’t this how Hitler started genocide? Now we as God’s children are killing his greatest gift to us? So now we can commit infantacide.
I am literally physically ill at this news. There are no words to convey how broken my heart is and I am losing all faith in humanity.
Please get mad and get involved. We may only have one voice, but if enough of us stand up, we will be deafening.
Lisa Fuller is a resident of Wilson.